Do you ever feel that there is something holding you back in your relationship, your career, your dreams and your aspirations? More than likely it’s yourself. So today I just first of all want to tell you to “get out of your way”.

So many times in our relationships we can find ourselves getting in our own way. We know exactly what we want and we know what we don’t want, but we are constantly over thinking and over analyzing our journey of how to get there, and as a result we are putting ourselves in our own way. Normally this is because of fear, it could be that we are afraid of being hurt again or we are afraid of being rejected or we are simply afraid that our insecurities will be exposed. I could write a whole blog about our insecurities and what they are and why we fear particular things or I could write a whole blog on the pressure that society puts on us to perform and look a particular way but what I would like to do is for us to move out of our own way and move forward. So I’m going to get you to ask yourself three questions and then ask yourself how are they affecting these three key areas in your life.

-Your Relationships

-Your Career

-Your Dreams


1- What do I really want?

2- Am I doing everything in my power to achieve it?

3- Is what I am doing now taking me closer to what I want?

If you have answered these three questions honestly, this should begin to bring some clarity to your circumstances and situations and also allow you to be able to clearly decide what you need to do next. I encourage you to write these answers down on a piece of paper or journal it and revisit your answers once a week for one month. This will put a burning desire within you to drive you towards what you want or a burning desire to want to change your situation.

If you feel comfortable share your answers below.

A gentleman uses his words to inspire and build. A foolish man or a jerk uses words to deject and destroy. A gentleman’s character inspires people to be the best version of themselves. A jerk’s character provokes people to do the exact opposite.

Gentleman VS Jerk.

These are both extremes and it is most likely that most men, at least the human, imperfect ones, find themselves balanced with room to grow. This isn’t a hopeless label, but a distinction based on behaviour that provides a platform for men to grow into the men they are and not shadows of themselves.

Generally, a jerk is obvious. His mannerisms, words and behaviours are his tells. When people encounter him, normally, they don’t leave with positive vibes. Most of the time, he is dealing with issues in his life, he hasn’t yet solved. This creates baggage and since life stops for no one, he finds himself rubbing off on the people closest to him. He tends to be toxic to be around. Usually, regardless of the mask he puts on, a jerk gives off the impression that his world is shaped by the walls built around him.

There are five tells that you’ve met (or you are) a jerk: 

1. Inconsiderate: Insensitive, careless, rude, impolite, tactless

2. Critical: Fault-finding, demeaning, derogatory, withering, belittling

3. Narcissistic: Conceited, egotistical, vain, self-absorbed, stuck-up

4. Dishonest: Deceptive, cunning, elusive, fraudulent, shady

5. Lazy: Inactive, sluggish, lethargic, slothful, unready

Now, the amazing thing is that one doesn’t have to stay stuck in this category. It is a label. The beautiful thing about labels is they aren’t permanent. They can be peeled off. A gentleman is an old term that describes men who carry themselves with dignity and honour, then pass that on to the people, especially the women, they encounter.

There are five character traits of many, that reveal you’re moving in the right direction. A gentleman is:

1. Wise: Aware, intelligent, insightful, informed, knowing

2. Honest: Candid, authentic, real, truthful, sincere

3. Intentional: Deliberate, designed, purposed, studied, wilful

4. Generous: Friendly, gentle, gracious, loving, understanding

5. Brave: Courageous, heroic, bold, valiant, daring

In relationships, a man is proven to be untrustworthy if he cannot hold his word, protect the woman he is with or take a stand for what he truly believes. A gentleman is not simply a man wearing three-piece suits, has a well-groomed moustache, wears a top hats and dapper shoes. He is a man who knows he is a man. He knows that his manhood means something. He knows his presence is weighty. He isn’t a slave to societal pressures, expectations or perspectives. He is empowered by his strengths and propelled by his weaknesses. He is beautiful. He is dashing. He is a gentleman.

This goes beyond holding the door open or pulling out the chair. A gentleman adds a rich quality of life to everyone he encounters. He is never forgotten.
Eniola. A


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As guys, we are normally saying the wrong thing or doing something insensitive without thinking. We usually aren’t hung up or driven by our emotions, as much as the girls are. You think making plans for the weekend is simply texting her saying ‘let’s do something on Saturday’? No Guys – They want actual plans including, dates, times, directions or maybe even a printed itinerary. So you find yourself getting the cold shoulder again and here you thought you were doing something good.

We’ve asked around and here are 5 crucial steps to apologising to your missus.

  1. Have a think about what you did and understand why she is upset. We both know that you had good intentions, but for the sake of the exercise put yourself in her shoes. Be ready to show her that you understand how she feels.
  2. Understand why you did what you did. Take a look at why you did what you did. Ask yourself is there anything I could have done differently?
  3. Admit you did something wrong. Tell her that you realize you could have approached the situation in a different way and you understand why she is upset. Identify and discuss the ways you will approach the situation differently next time. (i.e. Don’t make the same mistake again.)
  4. Give a heartfelt apology. Now that she has heard that you understand the reason she is upset and you have also allowed her to see where you’re coming from, tell her those two magic words. “I’m sorry.” (Be sincere)
  5. Back up your apology with action & seal the deal. By now she has accepted your apology and is talking to you again. Just to reinforce how much of a good guy you are, send her some flowers with a handwritten note saying, “I’m sorry”. If you’re game, you could even agree to watch the Notebook with her… AGAIN.


The goal of this exercise is not so much for her to talk to you again but for both of you to understand each other better. It is crucial for you to understand why she is upset and it is equally important for you to articulate your thought process behind your actions.

You’re Welcome,

The Best Man

  1. A man with vision. Winston Churchill says, “What is the use of living, if not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone.” There is nothing like enjoying the company of a man who sees the possibilities in life. He wants to live a life of adventure and so when I step into his life, he isn’t waiting for something to happen. He has already made something happen and I get to be a part of that.
  2. A thoughtful man. There is a certain joy that springs up when you realize that all those times you were talking, he was actually listening. So whether that’s my favorite random flower, a book I’ve been eyeing, shoes I have on a wish list or a date night somewhere I’ve only dreamed of. Thoughtfulness pays off so much, in the long run.
  3. A man of integrity. “A man is as good as his word.” Women are drawn to a man who can stand by his word. No one is perfect, but integrity is an amazing trait to have.
  4. A confident man. Whether you wear suits and dress to a “T” or wear skinny jeans and flannos or a combination of the two. Confidence is the one article of clothing that is unseen to the naked eye. The display of self-confidence differs from pride. Pride demeans others. Confidence empowers.
  5. A man with a great sense of humour. Please make us laugh. Even when we are mad. Laughing with someone breaks down walls and brings safety.



All Women.


  1. We never have time to do stuff. I’ve been at work all week; all I want to do on Saturday and Sunday morning is sleep in. Maybe we can have Date Night once a week.
  2. Why I’ve stopped going to the gym. Honestly, I’d rather go on a date with her.
  3. Who I am friends with. If she doesn’t like my friends then we just have to agree to disagree. She can go out with the girls on those nights. (She is probably right about my friends.)
  4. Leaving dirty dishes out. Okay, I should at least know how to put a plate in the dishwasher.
  5. Not being romantic enough. “I watched The Notebook with you instead of going out with the guys, and I bought you flowers TWICE last year!” I could still probably make more efforts on a day-to-day basis. FYI – I actually have a surprise picnic planned for our anniversary.
  6. “Where are you going?” All that matters is that I’m not going somewhere she wouldn’t want me to go and I should and I will try to keep her more in the loop.
  7. Why I don’t return texts/calls immediately. I have a job and a life and sometimes, they get in the way.
  8. Why I still keep in contact with (insert ex-girlfriend’s name here). Okay, this one’s perfectly warranted and completely wrong. I don’t keep in touch with any ex-girlfriends… honestly!
  9. We always do the same things. I know I should mix it up from time to time, that’s the reason why I arranged that romantic picnic for our anniversary.
  10. When am I going to marry her? I don’t know. But I still need a few more months or years to think about it. After all, this is a decision that’s going to affect both of us for the rest of our lives.