A gentleman uses his words to inspire and build. A foolish man or a jerk uses words to deject and destroy. A gentleman’s character inspires people to be the best version of themselves. A jerk’s character provokes people to do the exact opposite.
Gentleman VS Jerk.
These are both extremes and it is most likely that most men, at least the human, imperfect ones, find themselves balanced with room to grow. This isn’t a hopeless label, but a distinction based on behaviour that provides a platform for men to grow into the men they are and not shadows of themselves.
Generally, a jerk is obvious. His mannerisms, words and behaviours are his tells. When people encounter him, normally, they don’t leave with positive vibes. Most of the time, he is dealing with issues in his life, he hasn’t yet solved. This creates baggage and since life stops for no one, he finds himself rubbing off on the people closest to him. He tends to be toxic to be around. Usually, regardless of the mask he puts on, a jerk gives off the impression that his world is shaped by the walls built around him.
There are five tells that you’ve met (or you are) a jerk:
1. Inconsiderate: Insensitive, careless, rude, impolite, tactless
2. Critical: Fault-finding, demeaning, derogatory, withering, belittling
3. Narcissistic: Conceited, egotistical, vain, self-absorbed, stuck-up
4. Dishonest: Deceptive, cunning, elusive, fraudulent, shady
5. Lazy: Inactive, sluggish, lethargic, slothful, unready
Now, the amazing thing is that one doesn’t have to stay stuck in this category. It is a label. The beautiful thing about labels is they aren’t permanent. They can be peeled off. A gentleman is an old term that describes men who carry themselves with dignity and honour, then pass that on to the people, especially the women, they encounter.
There are five character traits of many, that reveal you’re moving in the right direction. A gentleman is:
1. Wise: Aware, intelligent, insightful, informed, knowing
2. Honest: Candid, authentic, real, truthful, sincere
3. Intentional: Deliberate, designed, purposed, studied, wilful
4. Generous: Friendly, gentle, gracious, loving, understanding
5. Brave: Courageous, heroic, bold, valiant, daring
In relationships, a man is proven to be untrustworthy if he cannot hold his word, protect the woman he is with or take a stand for what he truly believes. A gentleman is not simply a man wearing three-piece suits, has a well-groomed moustache, wears a top hats and dapper shoes. He is a man who knows he is a man. He knows that his manhood means something. He knows his presence is weighty. He isn’t a slave to societal pressures, expectations or perspectives. He is empowered by his strengths and propelled by his weaknesses. He is beautiful. He is dashing. He is a gentleman.
This goes beyond holding the door open or pulling out the chair. A gentleman adds a rich quality of life to everyone he encounters. He is never forgotten.
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